Bible and rape

I have recently heard both Muslims and atheists claim that the Bible promotes rape. They say that, according to the Bible, you could actually obtain a wife by raping an unmarried woman. If you catch her and rape her, then you get to marry her. The Bible verses that supposedly teach this are found in Deuteronomy 22:28-29.

“If a man finds a young woman who is a virgin…and he seizes her and lies with [has sex with] her…she shall be his wife…” (NKJV)

Unfortunately, most modern Christians ignore the OT, and therefore, they may not even know this passage exists, much less know what it is actually teaching. Neither this passage, nor any other passage in the Bible, promotes rape. There are several clues in the rest of the Bible, and even in this passage itself, which show that it is not talking about rape.

Clue #1. The word “seized.” The verses before our passage (Deut. 22:25-27) are talking about rape, and in this case the man “forces” the woman and lies with her. The word “forces” is the Hebrew word “chazaq.” In this case, the man who “forces” a betrothed woman and lies with her – that man gets the death penalty (v. 25).

But what about the man who “seizes” a woman in v. 28? Why doesn’t he get the death penalty? Because, in this verse, the man isn’t committing rape. The word “seize” is the Hebrew word “taphas.” This word can be used for playing a musical instrument (Gen. 4:21), handling the law of God (Jer. 2:8), handling farm tools (Jer. 50:16), etc. The word means to handle or manipulate. Sometimes it implies using force, but often it does not.

Clue #2. Parallel passages. The name Deuteronomy literally means “second law” (i.e., the second reading of the law). So, in order to gain more insight into what this law in Deuteronomy means, we have to look at the first time this law was given. This law was first given in Exodus 22:16-17.

“If a man entices a virgin…and lies with her…[she can] be his wife…” (NKJV)

Here, in Exodus, the man enticed (seduced) the woman. This is what Deut. 22:28 is talking about: the “seizing” (or taking hold of) is seducing, not rape.

Clue #3. The passage itself shows it is not speaking of rape. If anyone reading Deut. 22:28-29 would back up and read the verses prior to it (vv. 23-27), they would see that the man who is seducing this woman is not raping her. This fornication is consensual.

Verses 23–24 are about a consensual affair. It is deemed consensual because the woman “did not cry out” (i.e., she didn’t object).

Verses 25-27 are talking about a rape. In these verses the woman “cried out.” She objected, but was forced against her will.

When we get to verses 28-29 (our supposed rape-to-get-a-wife passage), there is no mention of the young lady “crying out.” This implies she was a willing participant in this fornication. Verse 28 also says that “they” were found out. This again implies that both were consenting to this sin of fornication. In this case, when both the man and the woman commit this sin of fornication, the man must marry the woman, if the woman’s father agrees. And this brings us to our next clue.

Clue #4. The father’s veto. In the passage that is the parallel to our passage (Ex. 22:16-17), the man who seduces a woman must then pay a fine (see also Deut. 22:29), and then he must marry that woman. There is no “love them and leave them” in God’s law. If you are going to have sex, you also have to take responsibility for your actions.

However, the father of the woman could refuse to give his daughter to the man (Ex. 22:17; the man would still have to pay the fine). This also shows that this passage, and Deut. 22:28-29 is not talking about rape. I don’t have a daughter, but if I did, I may give her to a young man with whom she committed fornication. Of course, my hope would be that she wouldn’t do that, but if it happened, and the man was an otherwise upstanding man, and a Christian, and generally responsible, I would consider letting him marry my daughter. If my daughter doesn’t want to marry this guy, I’m going to tell this man “no.” After all, I have more love for my daughter than I have for him.

But if he rapes my daughter, not only would I never allow him to marry her, but he’d better hope the police catch him before I do! Because if I do, there won’t be anything left of him for my daughter to marry!

Those Muslims and atheists who criticize the Bible have it wrong. The Bible doesn’t promote rape. The Bible sometimes records rape happening, but that doesn’t mean that God condones it; it is simply saying that the rape happened. There is nothing in Scripture that says that a rapist gets to marry his victim. Anyone who says so has probably never really studied the Bible.

God’s law is perfect (Ps. 19:7) and I love it (Ps. 119:97). Do you?